Gone too Soon…

I still feel…PAIN

LIMITLESS

Today’s loss came at a high cost…

Shook like a 7.9 quake after shock…

Still in shock!

The Loss of a Friend, Brother-

I pray for comfort for Father, and Mother;

The Sisters Who loss a Brother…

Normal…

seems to be in retreat…

This loss of Life has the feel of defeat…😰

Still I Run my Race, even through this emptiness I face..😥

Still I Feel, with every new breath taken… Treasured the more…😢

Until I Heal from the pain of this…R.I.P My Friend..,Until we meet again…😭

Some times the most closest of lovers can become the most distant of strangers; turning the most sweetest kiss into bitter poison- Proverbs 5:3-“the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: 4 But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. 5 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.”

The Kiss of Death

by LIMITLESS

I tried to shoulder the load keeping you covered, never exposed,

But

You chose a narrow vision-

Turn’ed my back to receive the deepest incision..,

Leaving me wounded–

My joy departing out like fluid.

I didn’t think you’d be the one to do it:

Then she licked her lips saying, “I had nothing to do with….”

I wasn’t looking for appreciation,

Just your understanding of the odds I’m face’n

But

Even that counted for little-

You still drove the dagger deeper with your words of ‘Mass-Destruction’,

Smoother than oil your words of seduction,

and

You where the one I trusted–

Why is it the one who promised to protect your heart,

IS the first one to offer it up to the dark…?

This poem stands as a release for me; writing this poem meant that I had to go back and find the pain and the hurt I thought I was free from. I realized I had to unload the weights I was carrying with me & so in writing these words I began to release them; it’s my hope that this poem brings freedom to all those that find themselves in these words, this is….

They Never Saw Me….

by LIMITLESS

They never saw me!!!

They never saw me when I tried to fit in, camouflaging myself to blend with them,

but,

they never saw me.

They never saw me tearing inside, too young to understand the value of Self virtue, I guess I was too wounded from beating myself up,

“WHY DON’T YOU STAND-UP FOR YOURSELF”, Self would say on the daily.

They never saw me when I put on my best, face, laughing outside numb underneath.

They never saw me struggling to find joy in the midst of being an emotional toy–

get’n played with on the regular.

They never saw me turn a pillow into a roaring river;

They never counted one of my one hundred tears,

They never helped me figure out why I felt the urge to paint the wall with my own brain matter, calling it quits cause I didn’t think I mattered.

They never cared to see beyond what they wanted me to be!

They didn’t see the walls I built to shield my damaged psyche as they thought their jokes where funny– I hated being the punchline, “hahaha, he looks like______”;

“I’m fine” was my daily lie-n, they never saw, so I left them blind.

They never saw the pain from being made to feel shameful about being me.

They never saw my insecurities just the front’s I put up; pretending to be friendly when really I wanted to cut them deeper than I was hurting saying nothing to keep from bursting.

They didn’t see how the goofy clown I portrayed to be was just to contain the rage behind bars quite in a cage- silent but deadly.

They never saw how Jesus Christ saved my life more than once, living recklessly a life under the  influence of  liquor and blunts.

They never saw how My God brought me out of all this darkness into the bosom of his dear son.

But they will see me as I rise out of this mental pit they left me in.

They will see me as I bravely let my light shine without fear as I announce, “despite all your malicious tactics–

I’M STILL HERE”…..

 

 

Once we where in the bonds of a guilty conscience, once our past sin’s choked any hope of freedom: But now our way of escape has come; (Rom 8:1) There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Prison of Vanity

by Edward Taylor III

I had a dream I was crashing into moments, blinded by the glare of memories;

Misdirected missteps led me to a void of emptiness,

In this, existed dreams which became toys of affectionate wishes.

Here – vision groaned for an exorcism out of vanities prison, with bloody finger nails creativity clawed at the wall of deceptive reality,

Painful memories & fearful moments bind the mind leaving it blind, Subdued by consistent doses of disappointment,

Until original purpose & intent became merely faint voices in the distant wind;

Here dominant are the figments of the imagination, which offer fragments of dis-eases…

A sudden shout grips my ear,

“WAKE-UP!”

“Grab my hand & I’ll lead you out!”

Grace grips my hand resurrecting hope, faith opens the prison gates, my footsteps pound the past I swiftly forsake,

As I exit through the gates of condemnation the mark of bondage is suddenly erased by one word forgiven…

I had a dream I was living in purpose, a King drinking from the fountain of life, having escaped the corruption of memory, free from the bondage of who I used to be…

This poem came after the reveling open heart surgery God preformed during the latest Together Ministry; Much was revealed to me as a husband, things I never considered, things I’ ve grown to take for granted in my marriage; so I wrote this poem as my official apology to my wife, I love you sweetheart, & I apologize…

I Didn’t Know

Edward Taylor III

I didn’t know how my ravenous lust would put you in a rush to lend your heart & loan your trust.

I didn’t know that the promise of that day would put you under a curse called ” The Christian Wife of Today”.

I didn’t know how I took you for granted forcing you to obey a husbands harsh commandments.

I didn’t know that the ring would cause a sting from the nine tailed whip my tongue could fling, putting you in slave bondage when your supposed to be my queen;

I didn’t know how far I fell when I failed to source you love; I didn’t know that I would be the cause for your eyelid waterfalls.

I didn’t know that I was the one who was supposed to fill your emotional tank, instead of attending to you I took my seat & commenced to drink, watching NFL highlights, while missing the key to my life…

So I wrote this to apologize, please let MY hand wipe away the tears from your eye’s,

Let me be your king who commands the Oceans to relinquish their pearls to you,

Let me be the man who satisfies your inner girl;

Please let me repay you for the time you’ve lost.

I repent to you & accuse myself, because, without you my good is lost & my favor meets death;

So I ask for your forgiveness with a sincere & sorrowful breath–

Please forgive me my wife…,

I Didn’t Know….

This poem was inspired by the powerful healing ministry my marriage is exposed to. I’m thankful that I’m blessed to say my wife & I are stronger than ever. I’m open with this poem because it’s my hope that it will spark a fire in those who read this, and in those who share with me the same desire for a successful marriage . – Edward T.

The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore. (PS 121: 5-8) Even in the worst of times God is always there to pick you back up and continue you on your road to greatness.

A Sorrowful Dance

By Edward Taylor III

A Sorrowful dance in the wind, performed by an excluded soul lost in sin, tears fall as pirouette’s call to the lost soul,

hopelessness twirls with blind perception, darkness calls with a malicious obsession.

Broken inside, strength subsides, to a sorrowful dance in the wind.

“Where is the comfort, the loving embrace, who will wipe these tears from my face?”

Under the stars you can see the dancer scarred:

Leaping to grasp the joy seemingly so far out of reach, distant as the mocking moon, silent & sweet,

Who is this that dances with sorrow in the wind?

The motions of this dancers’ gloom ignite the fierceness of question: “Where is my hope, where is my solace, where…

WHERE?”

The ground is struck, pounded by clinched fists,

“NO MORE!”

Is the cry as the dancer sits, drenched in sweat & self-regret: with eyes to the sky & arms raised the dancer is lifted up by the wind to dance once again,

Then a whisper is heard in the night sky:

“Hold on my dancer your salvation draws nigh”…

As Christians we go through a lot of diverse situations that try our integrity, but to uphold that great commandment to love thy neighbor as thy self (Matt 19:19), seems to be our greatest challenge at times. Instead of being real with one another we tend to hide our true feelings behind a simple smile…

Behind a Smile

By Edward Taylor III

There’s a lot behind a smile, have you ever considered “What could be”? Hidden behind a pleasant face that seems to possess joy that will never fade could lay pain so deep that tears can no longer express it only with a smile the face can confess it.

There’s a lot behind a smile, like a dagger dipped in hate: aimed at the center of your soul; as soon as you turn your back on the smile it uses the sharp edge of its tongue to pierce your flesh & sever your spine while smiling the hole time. There’s a lot behind a smile let me describe a few, there’s the one that say’s I’m better then you.

Then there’s the one that hides behind a grin :0) because the smile doesn’t want you to know it captured your husband. Then there’s the one that entices your wife, with only one motive, & that’s to ruin a wonderful life.

There’s also the one that’s truly genuine like the smile you receive from your children or like the one you may give to your best friend. You must realize a smile is fine,but only if it’s true,

with nothing hidden behind…