MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX

Chapter…. whatever…

If I sound whiney,

It’s because….

I AM-

To experience this on a daily basis is a struggle in and of itself.

I’ve been in this fight for almost 20 yrs.,

NON STOP….

I’m sharing my daily trials to help those that don’t understand how life is changing..,

In some cases, devastating…

It’s almost like you literally lose yourself in constant pain, only seeking some form of relief.

Fighting to keep your head above these troubling seas of depression cleaving to the only lifeline you have…

“HOPE…”

It takes time for spouses and loved ones to fully understand.

The thought that they suffer with you, cry with you..,

Pray for you…

Is clouded by self-absorbed turmoil…

It’s hard to see this in the darkness of your own suffering.

So we FIGHT ON

Fighting to live beyond this…

Which will never define Me…

https://www.iheart.com/artist/tom-doolie-rudy-raw-34630045/songs/whelve-164558796/?cmp=android_share&sc=android_social_share&pr=false

RHYTHMIC BLISS…

BY LIMITLESS

CAUGHT up,

In a moment, waiting, pacing through back and forth on what’s the next

Time moves passing from frame to frame.

Slowly, I take it in like breath to pen when the wind of inspiration hits it’s like a rhythm begins…

Melodies these words play,

This is word play,

Keys send notes forming this rythem.

They wrestle in tandom fighting for the solo-

Light spots this rhythmic bliss…

On my mind, these words kiss…

It is an awful awareness, this…

SECRET SILENCE…

LIMITLESS

An open smile to resemble better,

But,

Behind this-

This perceived broken self loathing

Choaking on words.

They are rusted daggers at the ready

Held steady by a tempered spirit

Hidden behind this display of strength-

He crumbles without notice…

With silent tears, he holds ground believing…

He has no other choice!

But to…

HE MUST LIVE…

IN THE UNDEFINED TIMELINE WE ARE GIVEN TO EXPERIENCE THE RAREST OF RARE’S… WE ARE ABLE TO CAPTURE THE MEANING OF THIS BLANK CANVAS…

WHAT WILL YOU CREATE..?

LIMITLESS

Expectations…

Predestined Destination-

Misplaced Relations…

HEARTBREAK

Regrets & Mistakes

JOY AFTER JOY

Everday Intake

HOLD TIGHTS

& Let Go’s

MENTALLY

Shapes-

Taking Hold

In the Space of Time,

Defining-

A LIFE

Question, How can you help another, Truly, while YOURSELF is left wounded and broken? The Time you give to this Life must include setting aside for a little SELFISH therapy once and awhile 😎

Positively Selfish…

LIMITLESS

Waking up jumping into Me.

Strapping on the Worlds concerns.

Big Brother persuasions impact my canvas.

So I extract this blemish to begin to repaint in the shade of selfish ambition.

Sipping the Get right to focus the light observing the burdens SELFISHNESS has given.

When Gut bends this will to yield all I have, to the service of others,

CONTRADICTION.

Forsaking Self to reside behind shattered glass;

Mirrored Cuts scarring vision to only see a flawed giving of Self.

Let the healing begin!

How can I give what is broken?

Calling it good when the tarnished image continues to muster under surface…

This Greedy perspective of doing to be seen winning onlookers praise…

This is unhealthy, appearing to be benevolent when it’s only SELFISH EGO I feed starving the needs of my true SELF…

Let me reverse this outlook turning it inward facing the despicable truths of a wounded character-

Actor.

Activating the urge of applause,

Social junkfood.

Time to gather SELF!

Bringing into mind the desire, the will, to find the real SELF untangled from the false images presented.

Time to invest in this-

New Age SELFISHNESS…

THE TEST….

A TRIAL OF FAITH…

LIMITLESS

Challenges of Self Image vs Night Terrors Feuding over territory Self inhibits. Torn at times flexing balance on hair trigger scales; acting as if all is well when inside this torment reflects Hell…

Burning desires doused in Patience begin to crack under the pressures of expected time…

“I SHOULD BE THERE BY NOW..!”

Self shouts the doubts burrowing into the depths of Faith searching for the chink…

SELF Embraces Question,

“What is THIS..?!”

The Battlefield of Faith…”

Wisdom SPEAKS Patently..,

BELIEVE…”

Listen to “Castle on the Hill” on TIDAL THE CHASE IS ON… BACK HOME…

Check out this track on TIDAL: “Castle on the Hill” by Ed Sheeran https://tidal.com/track/70973227

DREAMCHASER’S

LIMITLESS

Smiles shining as Silver fresh from the fury of prices paid…

They dance the triumph of their Hope forseen, seen at last.

They Dance in celebration holding their freedom in timeless Memories.

They CHASED their more than wishes, marking each Mile Stone ‘Goal achieved’..,

A Dream believed birthed Vision finally seen.

In full view these two Dance caught in a timeless celebration!

Jubilation invigorating rejoicing-

Time…

They Danced in the Essence of Forever.

They Chased what Belief Forged in the Furnace of Life.

A Dream Seen…

Every Decision stems from a place of a pure belief🤔…

Believe…

LIMITLESS

I stopped debating on whether this vision was real.

Doubt couldn’t break this sealed Dream, in time;

A Promise visualized needing only time to be realized…

Spied out through Day Dreams and Night Visions weaving this Dream;

Catching every opportunity at a glance,

my stance is,

Confident that this Dream will soon be in grip..;

This dream will soon be in Grip

How you SEE your World is everything…🤔

Perspective

LIMITLESS

Released in the Sunset, colors blend in the sky.

Moon ascends to alignment, while Sun Shines on the other side of perspective, viewing a new beginning while one sees an end at the other Angle of things.

Dark to Light.

Dawn to Dusk.

We all must clutch this Gift given.

Freedom found in the sweet taste of this Graceful Life.

LIFE.

An experience reserved just for You.

For you to share.

For you to Understand…

What will you make of It?

What will your hands create with it?

This Gift,

This Life…

How do you SEE It?

TODAY…