MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX CHAPTER πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚️

Another day in the ring swinging with fierce energy landing blow after blow

upon that which burdens me…

Over this,

Victory, I see a grand Army standing with me walking towards our Day!

A community of WARRIORS standing

Mending these open wounds seeing a future where this battle will be over soon…

While we LIVE beyond this

MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX

Chapter…. whatever…

If I sound whiney,

It’s because….

I AM-

To experience this on a daily basis is a struggle in and of itself.

I’ve been in this fight for almost 20 yrs.,

NON STOP….

I’m sharing my daily trials to help those that don’t understand how life is changing..,

In some cases, devastating…

It’s almost like you literally lose yourself in constant pain, only seeking some form of relief.

Fighting to keep your head above these troubling seas of depression cleaving to the only lifeline you have…

“HOPE…”

It takes time for spouses and loved ones to fully understand.

The thought that they suffer with you, cry with you..,

Pray for you…

Is clouded by self-absorbed turmoil…

It’s hard to see this in the darkness of your own suffering.

So we FIGHT ON

Fighting to live beyond this…

Which will never define Me…

FORMULA 1

What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?

DRIVE AND COMPETE ON THE WORLD STAGE IN BEAUTIFUL MONACO!!!

Driving along side of the Mediterranean Sea!

Through the city streets at the highest speed possible!

And that’s just practice πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°

ITS 4:20 SOMEWHERE!!!

πŸ₯³πŸ€―πŸ˜€πŸ˜Άβ€πŸŒ«οΈπŸ€—πŸ«‘

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

AFTER A LONGDAY OF COMPLETE DISCOMFORT DUE TO THIS MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS THING…

A freshly rolled hemp wrap full of fresh organically grown & cultivated cannabis flower;

Provided by YOSHI FARMS LLC,

Purposely selected strains that can deliver actual MEDICINAL relief…

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πŸ’šβ€οΈ

πŸ€”

Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

WHY….?

🀣

That’s the 1st thing that came up πŸ˜…, seriously…

That’s been me since day 1 lol

My answer for “DO,” “DONT,” “STOP,” “GO”

If it doesn’t make reasonable sense…

That’s usually what you’ll get…

πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ LIBRAS… 🀣

MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX

ME AND A LIL FRUIT TREE…

Passing from pill to pill-

Opiods SUCK-

From percocet to vicodin and back again.

TO No effect,  OPIODS SUCK, did nothing to mask that,

MS SUCKS!

The pain!

So I reached back into my memory banks, pulling up times full of smiles and laughter with some great food after,

Back to 19…

Reflecting on Purple and Green…

Buds are broken to fill a void…

A piece in the storm raging under layers of painful waves crashing against the walls of sanity…

Finally, a ledge to halt this free fall grabbing hold of a peaceful calm…

“HEY”

“Pass the Bong!”

Finally, relief…

Peace…

Found in a Cannabis leaf…

Random Smile

Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.

I’ve handed out my far share of good morning smiles.

Have a good one thank you notes.

It’s all been random in timing,

But intentional in pursuits.

The goal:

Just make someone’s day better than before they encountered you.

You never know how valuable a gesture of honest gratitude is to someone…

Just to know that there still are good people in this world who actually care about their JOINED communities.

People who think outside of themselves…

Givers…

MATT 5:9

“BLESSED are the peace Makers…” πŸ™πŸΎπŸ«ΆπŸΎ

ANOTHER CHAPTER IN MY LIFE/FIGHT WITH MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS

MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX Cont….

F#@% where do I start here…

Okay…

After I freaked out because my arm went rouge;

Deciding to lock up on its own!

My muscles flexing to the point of tearing themselves apart at the seems…

ON TOP OF THEΒ  BURNING OF THE SOUL PIERCING ELECTRIC SHOCK!!!!

That came with exposed Nurves touching each other…

Slow salt in the wound Torture came every day,

All day…

When will this END???!!!

Then I remembered an old friend…