MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX

CHAPTER-

There are days when it’s not all bad…

Dealing with multiple sclerosis,

Plus, dealing with the trials of the day

make it that much more valuable;

when you get days where you feel

Somewhat Normal.

Im still on a mission to find a cure to defeat this adversary once and, truly, for ALL.

A cure for me & all who are walking this path with me…

It’s a different perspective on life when you are confronted with your own mortality.

It’s a festering thought in the back of the mind,

Taunting & Cruel,

Reminding you that you are on borrowed time…

Still..,

That is overcome by the love I have surrounding me, reminding me that all is not lost.

As it was said to me by my spiritual mentor, ” As long as you are alive, there is always Hope…” – Apostle M. Waller

HOPE is my Anchor in this Storm.

An anchor held firmly in my grip…

HOPE, everlasting…

MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX

CHAPTER….

Well,

These last few days have been…

Well,

Depression is REAL…

It’s hard at times to find your way out.

By Gods grace, I have a strong support circle who is here to lift me up and keep me afloat.

It is TRUE

“TEAM WORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK”

I hope and pray you have the same

strength with in you, as well as around  you.

Keep pushing forward,Β  learn the lesson of the day & move towards the next adventure.

LIFE is a one-time experience…

Dont spend it in the Dark of Depression…

THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO DISCOVER,

Not only in life,

but..,

Within yourself as well…

Besides…

Quitting has NEVER been an option…

πŸ™πŸΎ

MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX CONTINUES….

At the start of the day, many can attest to this. There is a gloomy cloud over your head to greet you…

For those who may not understand,

The battle with depression is REAL…

Multiple sclerosis brings its own burden with it, and then you compound adulting on top of that!

It’s a real struggle.

There is a reason we wave the MS WARRIORS banner.

This is a real Fight for your Life.

A fight to retain who you are while staying a float mentality.

This is not for the faint of heart…

Multiple sclerosis will reveal what kind of heart you have.

WARRIORS LIVE HERE πŸ’ͺ🏾

TO WIN IS THE ONLY OBJECTIVE…

MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX

Chapter-

Another day…

I have to say honestly that every day isn’t terrible.

With the help of family, friends, good meds & Grade A greens, πŸ’š

Help the time in this torture chamber that is MS, pass by with a lot more worth.

IT’S a weird contrast to having an infliction such as this to give you the proper perspective…

Savor each day!

Cherish each joyful memory…

MAKE THIS LIFE

Something to remember…

Then, if you awake to a new day…

LET’S DO IT AGAIN!!!

DAYS WON THIS YEAR:

MS 0 – ME 152 & counting!

MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX CHAPTER πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚️

Another day in the ring swinging with fierce energy landing blow after blow

upon that which burdens me…

Over this,

Victory, I see a grand Army standing with me walking towards our Day!

A community of WARRIORS standing

Mending these open wounds seeing a future where this battle will be over soon…

While we LIVE beyond this

MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX

Chapter…. whatever…

If I sound whiney,

It’s because….

I AM-

To experience this on a daily basis is a struggle in and of itself.

I’ve been in this fight for almost 20 yrs.,

NON STOP….

I’m sharing my daily trials to help those that don’t understand how life is changing..,

In some cases, devastating…

It’s almost like you literally lose yourself in constant pain, only seeking some form of relief.

Fighting to keep your head above these troubling seas of depression cleaving to the only lifeline you have…

“HOPE…”

It takes time for spouses and loved ones to fully understand.

The thought that they suffer with you, cry with you..,

Pray for you…

Is clouded by self-absorbed turmoil…

It’s hard to see this in the darkness of your own suffering.

So we FIGHT ON

Fighting to live beyond this…

Which will never define Me…

MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX

ME AND A LIL FRUIT TREE…

Passing from pill to pill-

Opiods SUCK-

From percocet to vicodin and back again.

TO No effect,  OPIODS SUCK, did nothing to mask that,

MS SUCKS!

The pain!

So I reached back into my memory banks, pulling up times full of smiles and laughter with some great food after,

Back to 19…

Reflecting on Purple and Green…

Buds are broken to fill a void…

A piece in the storm raging under layers of painful waves crashing against the walls of sanity…

Finally, a ledge to halt this free fall grabbing hold of a peaceful calm…

“HEY”

“Pass the Bong!”

Finally, relief…

Peace…

Found in a Cannabis leaf…

ANOTHER CHAPTER IN MY LIFE/FIGHT WITH MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS

MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX Cont….

F#@% where do I start here…

Okay…

After I freaked out because my arm went rouge;

Deciding to lock up on its own!

My muscles flexing to the point of tearing themselves apart at the seems…

ON TOP OF THEΒ  BURNING OF THE SOUL PIERCING ELECTRIC SHOCK!!!!

That came with exposed Nurves touching each other…

Slow salt in the wound Torture came every day,

All day…

When will this END???!!!

Then I remembered an old friend…