MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX

Chapter…. whatever…

If I sound whiney,

It’s because….

I AM-

To experience this on a daily basis is a struggle in and of itself.

I’ve been in this fight for almost 20 yrs.,

NON STOP….

I’m sharing my daily trials to help those that don’t understand how life is changing..,

In some cases, devastating…

It’s almost like you literally lose yourself in constant pain, only seeking some form of relief.

Fighting to keep your head above these troubling seas of depression cleaving to the only lifeline you have…

“HOPE…”

It takes time for spouses and loved ones to fully understand.

The thought that they suffer with you, cry with you..,

Pray for you…

Is clouded by self-absorbed turmoil…

It’s hard to see this in the darkness of your own suffering.

So we FIGHT ON

Fighting to live beyond this…

Which will never define Me…

ITS 4:20 SOMEWHERE!!!

🥳🤯😤😶‍🌫️🤗🫡

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AFTER A LONGDAY OF COMPLETE DISCOMFORT DUE TO THIS MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS THING…

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ANOTHER CHAPTER IN MY LIFE/FIGHT WITH MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS

MEMOIRS OF A BLUE PHOENIX Cont….

F#@% where do I start here…

Okay…

After I freaked out because my arm went rouge;

Deciding to lock up on its own!

My muscles flexing to the point of tearing themselves apart at the seems…

ON TOP OF THE  BURNING OF THE SOUL PIERCING ELECTRIC SHOCK!!!!

That came with exposed Nurves touching each other…

Slow salt in the wound Torture came every day,

All day…

When will this END???!!!

Then I remembered an old friend…

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT…

You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

……

Yeah,

That’s all I got, 😆

But, seriously, how’s this..?

” My life changed in one day…”

An experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy….

It’s a pain I can only describe as HELL FIRE  raging under my skin!

Pain, so intense…

MY BODY IS ATTACKING ITS SELF…

Someone HELP ME….!!!

The answer came in the form of skeptical silence…

NO ONE returned my plea for salvation!

JUST PILLS

Injections

SPINAL TAPS!!!

Nothing

But

Nothing helped to quinch this raging onslaught of pain so intense…

Feeling helpless,

And all I was doing was trying to put on a sock…

I HATE MS….

“I guess I can start with that…”

CANT LIVE WITHOUT…

What are three objects you couldn’t live without?

THE OBJECT

LIMITLESS

I can’t LIVE without the object of my effection.

My Love intrest, I’m interested in what’s on your mind.

I wanna be in your space & time.

Investing time to decipher the code of your heart.

Let’s be interested in this love expressed,

On each occasion, we relish in time spent investing each other’s,

Positions switched from forward, 

aggressive!

Then, soft to the touch of a delicate rush…

This love interests me… intriguingly

CAPTURING ME…

Willingly…

RACISM-

Linnaeus’s work is considered to be a part of the origins of modern scientific racism. 

If you could un-invent something, what would it be?

Yes, the color line was drawn by a MAN to minupulate and divide.

RACISM is a SCAM and LIE

Feeds ignorant HATE

Drinks the blood of so many lives lost in its deception.

There is no superior race!

There is only one,

Humanity…

I’m not talking about an individuals right or wrong.

Every person is responsible for the decisions they make-

FACTS!

Start there instead of grouping people in one section of life…

We all have the same ending…

What really matters is how you live…

How will you be remembered…?

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH THE TIME YOU’VE BEEN GIFTED…?

Don’t waste time…

LIVE IN IT.

FOOD FOR THE SOUL

What makes you feel nostalgic?

NOSTALGIA

LIMITLESS

A fragrance

A breeze comforting warmth found in just a glance back…

Feeding soulful memorials of a beautiful event.

The feeling of a Heaven sent visit..

You smile in its warmth, holding these cherished thoughts close…

LAUGHING

DREAMING

A MOMENT MONUMENTAL

Nostalgia speaks, “I am reminding you that though you have more to do,

Never forget how far you’ve come…”

Gratitude imprints a grateful smile of appreciation

Of

A

Nostalgic Moment…

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RHYTHMIC BLISS…

BY LIMITLESS

CAUGHT up,

In a moment, waiting, pacing through back and forth on what’s the next

Time moves passing from frame to frame.

Slowly, I take it in like breath to pen when the wind of inspiration hits it’s like a rhythm begins…

Melodies these words play,

This is word play,

Keys send notes forming this rythem.

They wrestle in tandom fighting for the solo-

Light spots this rhythmic bliss…

On my mind, these words kiss…